Be English, buy English

By Chandrabhan Prasad

Commoners the world over emulate the lifestyle of the middle class. The middle class follows the elite. The Dalit middle class, too, acts as a role model to the Dalit underclass. Since Dalits are yet to earn elitism within the community, the Dalit middle class should emulate the English man’s lifestyle and his mannerisms.

To begin with, whenever members from the Dalit middle class get to interact with their underclass brethren, they should speak against consumption of country liquor, and inspire them to adapt to English liquor. Countrymade liquor is as bad as the country grown languages. Even in English culture, consumption of hard liquor is disrespected. Dalits, therefore, should go far lighter drinks if at all they have to drink.

If we do a census of people spitting or urinating along the road, almost all would be non-English speakers. That’s a country culture and the Dalit middle class should campaign within the community against this non-English mannerism.

All Dalit middle class homes should develop a strong culture for spoons and forks. Eating by hand is non-English and children should be trained to use forks and spoons. Keeping a wine opener is desired. A wine opener can be a great tool in boosting the self-esteem of a household.

Dalits visiting friends or relatives on occasion of wedding or for birthday parties should not carry a packet of sweets. That is non-English. Instead, they should carry bouquets, sometimes even chocolates. Dalits should abandon pranam or namaste as way of greetings. Almost always, sayers of pranam/namaste have to bend their heads down in an unstated form of submission. Instead, they should adopt to hi/hello/good morning/good day/goodbye. Sayers of hi/hello/good morning/good bye will always have to hold their heads high in this more egalitarian form of greeting. The Dalit middle class must train their children to say thanks/sorry/excuse me/beg your pardon/most welcome/feel free as these are basic courtesies not found in native culture.

Dalits should never be seen as ‘men/women’ in a hurry. They should not be the first to alight from train/bus. Let elders, children and women alight first. Dalits should avoid being first in boarding a lift. If there is an elderly man, allow him to board the lift first. Allow women and children to board the lift first. But, always be first to reach office/work place, and be the last to leave.

The Dalit middle class should train their kids in speaking gently. Speaking loudly doesn’t make a viewpoint any stronger. Also, being precise and to the point shows one in a better light. Expression of happiness is good, but laughing in public places should be avoided. Smile more and laugh less. Also, don’t stare at strangers. That’s an indecent behaviour.

Never ever step into public sphere in bathroom slippers. Wearing shoes without shocks should be avoided. Wearing red or yellow socks should be restricted to kids alone. Never ever enter the public domain with unpolished shoes. In case there is no polish available at home or the shoeshine man goes missing, take leave and confine yourself to home. Also, never ever wear sport shoes with formal dress. That’s non-English.

Shaking hands is a better way of expressing warmth. In case junior in position or age, never be the first to offer hand. That is considered impolite. Let the senior take the initiative. The Dalit middle class must train boys to cook. “Only women cooking food” is demeaning. Wife beating is an Indian tradition, and non-English. Treat women with respect.

Never serve guests fried food. That is non-English. Avoid eating fried food yourself. Eat boiled eggs. Never eat a meal sans salads. Try getting 50 per cent of calories from fruit/juice/vegetables. Eating green/leafy vegetables should be compulsory. That’s the English way. The world over, Indians are known for bad manners. As a civilisation, India has more social codes of disrespect than of respect. Some social class must propagate good manners.

Englishmen are known for their manners. As social victims, Dalits can’t have any logical affection for things Indians. Dalits are best placed in emulating English mannerisms. The Dalit middle class, in that sense, has to lead not only the Dalit masses, but entire India in developing the English way of life.