And I became an unwed father!

You’ll never know, my dear,
Just how much you mean to me,
A mother’s love buried into deep,
That only my heart can see.

When I sit and really stare at you,
All I can do is grin,
somewhere down deep inside,
I see myself within.

I’d never change a think in you,
I thank God that you’re so fine,
Even when you are your worst,
I’m so proud that you are but mine.

-   Janet Jenkins

It was a chilly evening on November 8, 2007. Mahesh is sitting on his favorite rocking chair in his balcony reading, what is now his favorite book, ‘Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna’. The book authored by Mahendranath Gupta happens to be biography of one of the greatest exponents on Indian Philosophy – Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. Swami Vivekananda, whose fan Mahesh is, was an ardent disciple of this ‘Great Swan’ as Sri Ramakrishna was also known. Mahesh has immersed himself into it so much that he has been reading the work since afternoon without batting his eyelid – even once. He is mesmerized by it – and completely. So much that he has not even taken notice of his Cell phone which is ringing long, and often.

Just when he is in the last chapter, of the work he has fallen in love with, he takes note of his phone. ‘Now who the hell is this?’ he shouts. Owing to the fact that he has been a loner, for a long time now, he certainly knows that it has to be but only him to either receive or disconnect the call.

‘Shut up!’ he yells with a raised voice, gets up from his rolling chair and by using his index finger of his left hand as a book mark holds the book, marches with rage and disconnects the call without even bothering to know the caller. To the irritation of this bibliophile, which Mahesh he has been since a little over a decade now, turn back to his reading the cell, to his utter disbelief – starts ringing again!

‘This is IT’ he screeches while turning the gadget off – completely. ‘I love peace’ he acclaims, all but unto himself, before he gets back to his reading in perfect solitude.

By the time he has done with his book he turns to his grand shelf overwhelming with book in his private library where he realize that the time is 1:15 am. But tired he isn’t. To refresh his mind he walks into his kitchen and makes for himself a cup of green tea, to which he has retorted to ever since one of the his doctor friend ‘educated’ him of its ‘medicinal value’. Sipping his team, in a coffee mug, he steadily walks up to his drawing room escaping his won belonging and rests his grand butt upon the sofa. Just a second before he could finish his lime and honey mixed green tea he reminisces of the calls he had missed – better put ‘disconnected in rage’.

He reaches unto his cell, switches it on and checks ‘Call Records’ to identify the caller. It is then only that he realizes that there were twenty calls, not two as he remembers, from the same number which belonged to Raghu.

Raghu was colleague of Mahesh during his previous employment. Raghu, who owed his first employment to Mahesh, would often address him as ‘Sir’. Hardly does Mahesh remember the day when Raghu might have had took his name. Such was Raghu’s devotion to Mahesh.

Just as when Mahesh is wondering, as to whether or not, was it a good time to call back his mobile rings up again. Yes it’s Raghu.
‘Hello Raghu! How are you doing?’ asks Mahesh with a great deal of affection on receiving the call.

‘Sir I need to convey something very important to you.’ He expresses his interest in explaining the rationale for having called up so late, furthering ‘I am getting married on 10th of this month.’
‘What! You mean 10th of this November?’ asks Mahesh with a tone expressing his utter disbelief.

‘Yes’ comes the reply from Raghu.

‘You mean this Sunday?’ queries Mahesh as he reaches with his left hand to the table calendar to confirm his calculation that is proving to be astonishingly true!

‘Exactly, Sir’ affirms Raghu.

‘Is this a way you want to make a fool of me?’ says Mahesh, but with a firm voice.

‘No sir,’ continues Raghu, ‘I’m damn serious.’

‘Good God!’ Mahesh expresses his shock.

‘May I know who this lady is? Who seems to have gone as insane as you at the moment as it seems?’

‘Raghi, Sir.’ says Raghu, this time with a voice express his shyness.

‘OH-MY-GOD’ stunned Mahesh says, adding ‘You don’t mean it. Or do you?’

Mahesh is ‘stunned’ not because that he could never imagine them, i.e. Raghu and Ragi, getting married. But because he had, deep within him, a desire to see them married together. His was, in fact, pleasure of its kind.

‘I still can’t believe it.’ admits Mahesh.

‘But true it is, Sir.’ says the boy whom Mahesh had mentored so long.

‘Is that lady around?’ asks Mahesh for Ragi, for whom she was no less than his maternal sister.

‘Hello Anna (Brother)’ says a sweet voice of a girl so familiar to this Man in his mid thirties.

‘Hello Sweetheart! How’s everything with you?’ asks Mahesh with a voice expressing his hell bent affection.

‘I’m just Fine! How about you?’ thus queries Ragi.

‘Good. Living life on my own terms.’ Replies Mahesh.

‘Great Anna… So I am getting married to the man you had yourself chosen for me. So, I expect you to be there at my wedding.’ She warns, in fact.

‘Absolutely my sis.’ admits Mahesh his acceptance to the invitation, before saying ‘bye’ and hanging up the call.

By the way, Raghu, now aged 21, hails from a financially very humble family. He has a brother and a sister, both elder to him and married. They stay in separate dwelling leaving him and his mentally ill, and widowed mother in their small 800 sq. ft. home built by his deceased father. He earns a reasonable income working as an office manager in the office where Mahesh worked for, until a few months before.

Ragi, aged 19, is a wonderful girl from Bangalore and is working at a real estate company owned by one of Mahesh’s grandest friends. When she was a few months old someone had dropped her at an orphanage in the outskirts of Bangalore. The orphanage was run by a very distinguished Hindu organization which also supported her to earn a Bachelors degree in Management from where she was introduced by one of the trustees of the orphanage to Mahesh to find her a suitable job.

Raghu for Mahesh was not just a trusted aide but also a friend. Similarly whenever he went to Bangalore, Ragi would promptly make free to meet him and trace him up, meet him and give him Mysorepak a sweet which was among the Mahesh’s favorite. Mahesh, who had only two brothers, craved for a sister – when young. This slot in his heart was easily taken by Ragi. His inner conscious would often remind him of the responsibility to have her married into a good family. And when she called him on her 19th birthday, he asked, casually, if she ‘would appreciate’ if he searched for a ‘suitable groom for her’.

Mahesh, not to forget, is a very emotive person. He has always found deep feeling for those who shared his feelings. Having understood her brother’s feelings, and also his intentions she conveyed to him thus. ‘Anna, I don’t know anyone caring for me as much as you do. I have stopped thinking of myself to be an orphan ever since I met you. You are me my world. So let me know as to how could I, possibly, not obey your request, which for me is my command?’
Listening to her words for this loner, which Mahesh is, was a grand pleasure.

‘You know Ragi how delighted I am? You too for me are my world and I am sure you understand this too.’ He too admitted, as his tears of joy started dripping from his eyes.

That night after having the said conversation with his beloved, and only, sister, Mahesh could barely sleep. He was thinking seriously on ways to find her a suitable boy. His brotherly feelings were already up and working. In the end, somehow, his choice cornered on Raghu. It was as if his intuition said to him ‘You can’t find better groom for Ragi than Raghu.’

The very next morning as Mahesh checked into his office his office boy to call for Raghu.

‘You are going to join me for lunch today.’ He ordered to Raghu, on entering his chamber. The lad promptly agreed.

For lunch Mahesh took him to his favorite Chinese joint for he considered the place to be less crowded and thus apt for having an uninterrupted discussion on the subject matter. To ensure minimal distraction he even put off his cell.

‘Raghu, I need to talk to you about something very personal. I hope you would not mind.’ thus began Mahesh – his ‘mission’.

‘Sure, Sir. Please go ahead.’ affirmed Raghu.

‘Do you have any plans about your marriage?’

‘No Sir, I haven’t. Actually I can’t even think about it.’

‘Why not?’ asked Mahesh.

‘Ok. Let me put it this way: who do you think would be interested in marrying a broke – who I am?’ counter questioned Raghu.

‘Hmm. What if someone is willing to marry you?’

On hearing this question from Mahesh, Raghu fell into a deep thought.

Considering that to be a trick question, carelessly he reprimanded saying ‘Sure, Sir. Why not’

‘Great!’ exclaimed Mahesh before saying ‘I know just a lady for you, one who can agree to be with you knowing all your conditions. Then he introduced, verbally, Ragi to Raghu.

Listening to the planning his ‘Sir’ had done for him, without his knowledge, was a shock!

‘Sir you know my condition. I have a modest salary and a small house to call my own. Over that I have upon my shoulder a responsibility of my mother who needs constant care and attention. You also know how barely I manage my finances. Given this how would you expect, let alone a lady, to be my life partner?’ Thus put Raghu his predicament, very frankly.

Candidly, Mahesh was absolutely prepared for these questions – well in advance. He retorted to those queries thus. ‘Raghu, I have learnt from my life but a simple logic about marriage, even though, I have been a loner and a bachelor myself. My intuitions have convinced me that: If you aren’t marrying because you don’t have money. It’s not logical because you could still earn money after your marriage. Marriage doesn’t mean end to earnings. If you aren’t marrying because you don’t have a house. Get married, get a loan from the Bank and you can get a house purchased or built. Can’t you? Money house wealth and all that, you may have with time, but… not the age. I am convinced that this is right age and time for you. Trust me. You are my friend and you yourself know how much I care for my pals. Ragi will suit you well. My intuition are saying I to me. And my intuitions, I say without a doubt are never wrong. It is my intuition which is impressing upon me to get you both married.’
Raghu tried to give in reasons for why it wasn’t good for him to marry ‘so early’ as he wanted to put it. But Mahesh was just prepared as beyond anyone’s imagination.

Finally, Raghu found that he had be not option, but to say ‘Well, I don’t have problem to marry the lady, if, she agrees after hearing my problems through me.’

‘That’s fine Raghu. Its absolutely fair enough.’ said Mahesh adding ‘take one advice of mine on marriage. Marriage is not an institution you get into when only you are well off materialistically. It is an institution where two people come together, considering the Indian context, especially, with a promise to be together – come what may! Once wedded you are husband and wife – forever. My belief is that one should get married when they are not doing well financially and also when times seem to be testing. I have witnessed so many men, and women, loosing their virginity to others and marrying someone who could give them financial security on the long run. That’s an agreement, and not bonding – if you ask me. The true test of wife is when her husband is in the extreme crisis. If a lady is agreeing to marry you then what’s your problem? Besides, you also need someone to take care of your mom.’

‘But how do you think I could take care of her?’ asked Raghu.
‘Can you feed her?’ asked Mahesh and ‘Yes’ said Raghu.
‘Could you afford her a place to stay?’ for which question ‘I think so.’ pat came the reply.

‘Could you promise to protect her dignity and self respect with your life?’

‘Of course.’ he admitted.

‘That’s it, you see.’ Mahesh concluded, before decreeing ‘Now, you see her first and then think on the life I have explained. Is that fine?’

‘Ok’ nodded Raghu. His mental confusion was visibly evident.
Later that Saturday, Mahesh booked two tickets to Bangalore on a luxury bus and got both of them to meet together at the Restaurant on the same building of the hotel where they both had put up.
After a brief fifteen minutes of introduction, Mahesh took a leave only to return after an hour or so. However, he did managed to peep in from a distance to realize just how well Ragi and Raghu were getting on with Ravi. Mahesh’s was a sheer delight and he could feel that in every minute cell of his body. After all entire proceedings had been going just as he had planned you see.

‘So how did you find each other?’ He asked both of them as if he was unaware of happenings between them, on returning.

‘We found each other to be interesting, Sir.’ admitted Raghu as Ragi put in her acknowledgement to her brother with a face filled with shyness.

‘Now I would suggest you both exchange your cell numbers and keep in constant touch before arriving at a good conclusion. I am sure that you will both do well together when you have decided do let me know.’ suggested Mahesh to them before taking leave from Ragi, along with Raghu.

Strangely, due to certain unkind circumstances, Mahesh was compelled by his circumstances from the company, not far from the day he returned from Bangalore and decided to take on a premature retirement which was planning anyways. Though he would maintain touch with both of them he somehow forgot to ask about the developments.

It was thus that the news, of their wedding, came in as a shock to him. And man! What a joyous occasion was that for him! ‘Alas one of my greatest responsibilities is getting over.’ He said to himself before hitting the bed after receiving the call.

The next day, to his utter disbelief Ragi and Raghu, decided not to take any contribution, of any kind, from Mahesh. They had decided to make all the arrangements by themselves. Though filled with sheer discontent he did attend the wedding at a temple on outskirts of the city.

However there was a small twist before the Vedic rituals for the wedding could possibly begin.  The Pundit (Priest, as he is said in English) asked as to ‘who would be doing the Kanyaadaan?’

For those who aren’t aware of Vedic Hindu rituals Kanyaadaan or Paanigrahan Sanskar as it is also called in Sanskrit is a vital and significant ritual in which bride’s is entrusted  to the groom.
In the ritual of Kanyaadaan the bride’s parents, normally her father gives his daughter to the groom. But because Ragi was, as fate had her to be, without a father she instead looked at Mahesh and said ‘Anna come here, you are the most important person to me – in my life. So I want you o do my Kanyaadaan.’

Listening to it Mahesh was simply spellbound. He had no words to utter but his eyes would say them all. As a believer in the Vedas he knew the significance of the ritual. Vedas, the supreme scriptures of Hinduism, and also the worlds oldest scripture, declare that Kanyadaan to be among the greatest of penance.

This might have been said so because a father raises his daughter for years with love and affection before giving her in marriage to a groom – without any expectations. Giving a daughter away for a father, then, would be like donating one’s vital organ of his body.
During the ritual Mahesh was asked to stand behind Ragi, taking bother her palms, one over the other, above his and was then kept over Raghu’s palm. The Pandit proved to be a wonderful person. As he began reciting the mantras, at the end of which he would pour a bit of water from the jug, he also ensured he explained their meanings too. The meaning was something like this ‘I, the father, who has brought up this girl with lots of care and affection is now giving her to you(groom). Please do take care of her. I am now donating her to you for progeny and for well being of your family. She will give you heirs, peace and comfort. She would be  loyal to you until death takes her away, but with a promise to join you back in the next life. My only sincere and deepest request unto you is do take good care of her and give her due love and affection. From now on I relinquish all my rights on her. From now on she shall be all yours. I bless you both.’

Mahesh was mesmerized for the moment. The tears followed from his eyes, for the first time, with no signs to stop. His eyes turned red. Suddenly he would realize that he wasn’t alone. Ragi was in tears too.

After rituals in the temple all the people present had their lunch at Raghu’s house in Mangalore. Not many but some forty people attended the function. And before Mahesh could bid her bye Ragi gave him a bare hug and began to snob.

‘You are now a father to me now, Anna.’ she conveyed to her emotional father.

‘Of course you are my daughter. So remember you are not alone now. I am with you, both whenever you need me.’ and after a few minutes of compelling emotions Mahesh bid his daughter and his son-in-law ‘bye’.

That night Mahesh just couldn’t sleep. It was the MOST memorable day of his life. He penned his emotions in his dairy, who last paragraph would read thus ‘I don’t know how a father feels at the departure of his daughter after wedding. I have never tried assuming his agony. But I can say, with confidence, that mine wasn’t any less.’